A man calls his wife and says to her, “Honey, I just got the chance of a lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss.  Could you packup my things so that they will be ready when I get home?” “Sure, honey,” his wife answers.”Oh, and could you please pack my blue silk pyjamas?” “Sure,honey,” his wife answers again. The man comes home, picks up his things andtakes off for the week. He returns a week later, smiling.  His wife greets him at the front door. “So honey, how was your fishing trip?”"It was great…” the husband answers. “But you forgot to pack my blue silk pyjamas.” “No I didn’t,” said his wife.  “They were in your tackle box.”

An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession:Man: Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife,but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old.Father: When was the last time you made a confession?Man: I never have, I am Jewish.Father: Then why are telling me all this?Man: I am telling everybody …