Damn…did you see the size of that front tooth gap she had? Yeah…I didn’t know wether to smile back or kick a field goal!

If the Franklin Mint made toasters…Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted piece of your authentic Civil War pewter toaster.

Why do farts smell?

So deaf people can enjoy them too.

What is black and sits at the top of a set of stairs?

A quadraplegic in a house fire.

3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.”The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say……LOOK, HE’SMOVING!!!!!”