Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noisescoming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it tothe end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked into the bathroom andsaw his father removing a used condom.”Daddy, what are you doing?” asked little Johnny.His father looked around nervously wondering what he could tell his son.I, um, I’m just checking out the bathroom for mice.”replied his father.Johnny looked at his father with a gaze of confusion and said,”Well, what are you doing? Fucking them?”

The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder   as you get older.   After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and   bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11   Never blow in a cat’s ear because if you do, usually after three or   four times, they will bite your lips! And they don’t let go for at   least a minute. Lisa Coburn, age 9   Don’t think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work.   I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other   day. Nick Coleman, age 9   Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don’t know if they   like you, ask them out and see what (more…)

G:  Nobody gets the girl.

PG: The good guy gets the girl.

R:  The bad guy gets the girl.

X:  Everybody gets the girl!

What can Calista Flockhart do with dental floss?

Hang herself.

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

Mother: “What does the cow say?”

Child: “Moooo!”

Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?”

Child: “Meow.”

Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?”

And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, “Bud.”