For many years, the border between Poland and Russia was volatile.  Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no longer a Russian, but had become a Pole.   Thrilled, he told his wife, “Thank God !  No more of those freezing Russian winters.”

If IBM made toasters…They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a world wide market for five, maybe six toasters.

Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. “Why are you crying?” asked the other child. “I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger.” When he heard this, the other child started to cry. “Why are you crying?” “I’m here for a urine test.”

Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers.The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. “Nah,” says Johnny, “what else do you have?” “Well,” the chemist replies, “the only other kind that I have are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know what these will do to a woman?” Little Johnny says, “No… but they’ll make a goat jump about two feet off of the ground!”

When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said:  “I’ll give you a hint. First it’s in your hand, then it’s in your mouth,and then it’s in your tummy.”The teacher smiled and said: “OK, Dick, sit down.”