Hooker walks up to the old man and says “Hey old man, you want some super sex?”

Old man replies “Thanks, i’ll have the soup.”

That’s OK, I Wasn’t Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

Let’s Fix Democracy in This Country First If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

If You Can Read This, You’re Not Our President

Of Course It Hurts: You’re Getting Screwed by an Elephant (more…)

“Son you’re making the same mistake in Iraq that I made with your mother….

….I did not pull out in time.”

“After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?”

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER:
“I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you didn’t call, you didn’t write!

MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?” (more…)

Mr. Oliver, the biology professor, at a posh suburban girl’s school, asked during class, “Miss Smith, would you name the organ in the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times it’s normal size, and define the conditions.”

Miss Smith gasped, then said , “Mr. Oliver, I don’t think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you that my parents will hear of this.” With that, she sat down red-faced. (more…)