I’ve got a head I can’t think with

I’ve got an eye I can’t see out of

I have to hang around with two nuts all the time

My closest neighbor is an asshole

My best friend is a pussy

And every time I get excited, I throw up

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. (more…)

A rabbi walks into a delicatessen at lunchtime and sees the priest from the local Catholic church. He goes over to say hello just as the priest is being served a ham sandwich.

After greeting the rabbi the priest syas, “You know this place has the best sandwiches in town. Just look how much meat they put in there. I usually have to take home half (more…)

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
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Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth. (more…)

Here is a nice post I found in the Guardian:

Abu al-Zarqawi died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!” (more…)