A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in he realizes it’s a gay bar.”What the heck,” he says to himself, “I really want a drink.”

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, “What’s the name of your willy?”

The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.” (more…)

Dear Diary

For my fiftieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college hockey team 30 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. (more…)

Three friends die in a car crash, and find themselves at the gates of Heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.

“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?” asks St. Peter.

The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor and a great family man.”

The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children’ lives.”

The last guy replies. “I would like to hear them say, ‘LOOK! HE’S MOVING!’”

1. Men are like ..Laxatives …… They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like.Bananas ….. The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ……Weather Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like …….Blenders You need One, but you’re not quite sure why. (more…)

Naomi spelled backwards is “I moan”