At times…………….. women can be a bit insensitive.

Fred returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, Fred asks his wife for sex. She agrees, and they make love.

About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?”

Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. (more…)

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied: a can of peaches. The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, “I will give you 6 days in jail.”

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge asked, “What is it?”

The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

10. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine,some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

9. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Toronto and mine is in Montreal.

8. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

7. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.’Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested the kitchen. (more…)

Secret Code

After numerous rounds of “We don’t know if Osama is still alive”,

Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know that he is still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 3 7 0 H S S V - 0 7 7 3 H (more…)

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?”

The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.”

So the boy went to his mother and asked, “Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?” The mother replied, “Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!” (more…)