George W. Bush has a heart attack and dies. He then goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him: “You’re on my list, but i presently don’t have any room for you,” says the devil. “But you definitely have to stay here, so i’ll tell you what i’m going to do. I’ve got three persons here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let you decide who gets to leave.”

Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed to the suggestion. The devil then opened the door to the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and resurfacing empty-handed over and over. Such was his fate in Hell. “No!”, said Bush. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and i don’t think i could do that all day long.”

The devil then led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair, holding a sledgehammer in a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. “No! I’ve got this shoulder problem and i’d be in constant agony if i’d have to break rocks all day long!”, lamented Bush.

So, the devil opened the third door, and it this room was none other than Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best (bbbj). Bush stared at this scene in disbelief and finally said: “Yeah, i can handle this. I’m picking this one.”

Upon hearing this, the devil smiled and said:

“Ok, Monica. You’re free to go!”