1. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
2. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.
3. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
4. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
7. BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
8. So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that precious.
9. I need someone really bad…Are you really bad?
10. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.